By SYDNEY P. FREEDBERG

July 41999

© St. Petersburg Times

Main sto­ry

We’d rather have died than to stay in that place for some­thing we didn’t do’

I had noth­ing … The world I left no longer existed’

We don’t look back’

Yes, I’m angry.… Yes, I’m bit­ter. I’m frustrated’

The stig­ma is always there’

The 13 oth­er sur­vivors and their stories

When Sonia Sunny” Jacobs went to prison for mur­der in 1976, her son was 9. Her daugh­ter, 10 months old, was still nursing.

When she was freed in 1992, her son was mar­ried with a child of his own and her daugh­ter was a 16-year-old stranger.

Getting back fam­i­ly is the hard­est part,” says Jacobs, now 51, who teach­es yoga and lives in Los Angeles. They live with embar­rass­ment for so long: You say you did­n’t (com­mit the mur­der), but every­one says you did.”

Fresh out of prison, Jacobs made her first non-col­lect tele­phone call in 16 years to son Eric, and then head­ed to North Carolina to see him, his wife and their 4‑year-old daughter.

Grandma, were you lost?” the girl asked when they met.

Yes,” Jacobs replied. I was.”

The reunion with her daugh­ter did­n’t go as smooth­ly. Jacobs found her at a high school in Maine, but Tina kept her distance.

The wounds began to heal a few months lat­er. Tina accept­ed her moth­er’s invi­ta­tion to attend an anti-death-penal­ty ral­ly in Pittsburgh. The crowd applaud­ed Jacobs, then cheered non-stop when Tina was intro­duced. Mother and daugh­ter hugged. Eventually, they began liv­ing togeth­er, got their first dri­vers’ licens­es and climbed mountains.

By then, Jacobs and her chil­dren had grown accus­tomed to overcoming obstacles.

In 1976, they were all in the back seat of a green Camaro when Jacobs was arrest­ed with her boyfriend, an ex-con named Jesse Tafero, and his prison pal, Walter Rhodes. They were charged with mur­der­ing Florida Highway Patrol Trooper Phillip Black and a vis­it­ing Canadian police­man named Donald Irwin a few min­utes ear­li­er at an Interstate 95 rest stop.

Rhodes was the only one who test­ed pos­i­tive for gun­pow­der residue. But after he agreed to tes­ti­fy against Jacobs and Tafero, he got a life sen­tence. They were sen­tenced to die.

Jacobs spent the next five years in soli­tary con­fine­ment, her vocal cords becom­ing atro­phied because of non-use and denied even her pho­tos of Eric, a son by her first mar­riage, and Tina, her baby by Tafero. She med­i­tat­ed and prac­ticed yoga. I fig­ured if peo­ple could sur­vive the con­cen­tra­tion camps, then sure­ly I could sur­vive this,” she says.

In 1981, the Florida Supreme Court com­mut­ed Jacobs’ sen­tence to life in prison after her lawyers uncov­ered a poly­graph test sug­gest­ing that Rhodes, the pros­e­cu­tion’s chief wit­ness, might have lied. The next year, Rhodes recant­ed, say­ing he — not Jacobs or Tafero — pulled the trig­ger. (He lat­er changed his sto­ry again and again.) The case grew even more wob­bly when a jail­house snitch said she, too, had lied against Jacobs at trial.

Tafero was not so lucky. He remained on death row while his appeals slipped away. In May 1990, he was executed.

By then, a child­hood friend of Jacobs, film­mak­er Micki Dickoff, had become inter­est­ed in her case. Using court tran­scripts, affi­davits and old news­pa­per sto­ries, Dickoff found dis­crep­an­cies in tes­ti­mo­ny and put togeth­er a col­or-cod­ed brief for the 11th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals. It was enough to over­turn Jacobs’ conviction.

Rather than risk an acquit­tal at retri­al, the Broward State Attorney’s Office offered a plea to sec­ond-degree mur­der in which Jacobs, then 45, did not have to admit guilt. On Oct. 9, 1992, she was released.

She remem­bers see­ing the sun and the moon as she left the Broward County Courthouse.

I felt like an alien at first,” Jacobs says, adding that in prison at least she had stature. Outside, I had noth­ing: no mon­ey, no place to go. The world I left no longer existed.”

For a time, Jacobs had flash­backs and a recur­ring dream: I’m mad­ly dash­ing up and down the cor­ri­dors try­ing to find my cell. I could­n’t and I was gonna get in trou­ble.… So I ran to the lob­by — it looked like a hotel lob­by — and I asked the desk to call and say I was real­ly here, but I just could­n’t find my cell.”

The night­mares have end­ed. The bad feel­ings come and go. Whenever things get too bad, Jacobs takes long walks along the beach, runs her fin­gers through the sand and lis­tens to the ocean. I let the sea take me away,” she says.

She lives with her daugh­ter and the mutt she laugh­ing­ly calls her grand-dog-ter,” and runs a grow­ing yoga busi­ness in Los Angeles. She dab­bles in film­mak­ing with Dickoff and in her spare time writes a mem­oir of death row and life after. She also keeps in touch with old prison friends — a lit­tle group from the lost planet.”

We’re all a lit­tle reclu­sive,” Jacobs says of death row sur­vivors. We all strug­gle a lit­tle to find a life and fit in.”